so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
