dude i'm inner monologue high
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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