Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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