so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
