first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I came so hard my ears popped.
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