Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
