You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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