she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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