Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
