I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
