fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
