so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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