There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
