Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I am one with the molecules
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
