onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
