Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Please, let me fuck your mom
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
