Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
