so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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