YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
