I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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