I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
