so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
