Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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