I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
