What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you would pick up someone in the library
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
