I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
