If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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