Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
