dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this boner is exhausting
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
