Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize