Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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