; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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