i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
