You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
