i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
