What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
