If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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