I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
