Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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