"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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