can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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