A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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