no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
