Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
