I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
