After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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