grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
