john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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