I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
