When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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