dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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