Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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