I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
