Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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