plz talk dirty to me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
