he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
