You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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