Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
