you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
