check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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