I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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