If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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