Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
